Software & Stories

My name is Orlando, and I occasionally write about software. And also short stories.

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Latest stories

The Behemoth Attack

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Detective McFly was the first detective on the scene. He was a small, rugged fly with tough wings and a furry face. “What’s the buzz?” he asked no one in particular. “Male,” replied one of the techs, “seven days old, reportedly on his way home from a shit feast. Three witnesses say they saw him antagonizing a pair of Behemoths.” “My god. Do we have...

The Birthday Visitor

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On his thirteenth birthday, Thursday, June 5th, 1997, his teacher called him out for being a terrible student. “You’ll see,” Mr. Bartlett said, “next year on this day, you’ll still be a bad student unless you change your habits.” So, on that night, Carter wished he could see what his life was like the following year. After blowing out his candles, he thought...

The Birds & the Bees

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“Mommy,” Quentin said, “Where do babies come from?” “Shit,” Kate said, muttering to herself. She looked around her immediate area for her husband. “We should ask daddy!” “OK!” Quentin held his mother’s hand and dragged her along, from room to room, looking for his father. He found his father, Harold, in the living room. Harold was looking at funny pictures of cats on the Internet. “Daddy!” “Hey...

UnicodeDecodeError: ‘utf-8’ codec can’t decode byte 0x8b in position 1: invalid start byte

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When upgrading one of my development servers from Ubuntu 14.04 LTS to 16.04 LTS, I encountered a fun little error: UnicodeDecodeError: 'utf-8' codec can't decode byte 0x8b in position 1: invalid start byte. Googling gave me an AskUbuntu post that suggested I look in /etc/apt/sources.list.d/ for a bad character. I decided I’d just rm * the contents of the directory and save myself time. That...

Introducing Walkles, pet care management software made simple.

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Last year, my wife quit her job and decided to become a dog walker, and she’s awesome at it. When you start something like that, one of the very first things you need is a website, so I helped her out with that. As she got more clients, she needed more features to help her schedule her walks, invoice users, etc. We evaluated existing services and they problem they ALL shared was they were...

RaiBlocks alerts tool added to do•rai•me.

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I’m glad people are using the donation widget I put together on do•rai•me. Anything that leads to adoption is good for the RaiBlocks community. Thanks to that effort, I received a couple of donations (thanks!) but didn’t know about them until I logged into RaiWallet. It made me think others, especially those accepting donations, were having the same problem. That’s why I decided...

How to keep your Coinbase Bitcoins, Litecoins, and Ether safe.

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In February of 2014, a company by the name of Mt. Gox, at the time the largest bitcoin exchange in the world, halted all bitcoin withdrawals. Soon after, they revealed that almost 850,000 bitcoins were lost and suspected stolen, and a collective groan was heard by geeks all across the world. At the time, the value of all that coinage was roughly $473 million. As of writing, the value would be...

Capistrano & delayed_job With Rails 4

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If you’ve tried deploying your Rails 4 app using Capistrano, and you happen to also be using the delayed_job gem, you may have encountered a problem. bash: script/delayed_job: No such file or directory The solution is actually quite simple. Rails 4 uses the bin directory in place of the script directory, so add this to your deploy.rb file: set :delayed_job_command...

Ruby? For games? I’ll hang you for that shit. PART 1

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Ruby is an amazing language. It is, without a doubt, my favorite scripting language. The first time I heard about it was back in late 2006. I dove right in, and I haven’t looked back. I’ve built myself a pretty decent career on Ruby, and I couldn’t be happier about that. And now I decided I wanted to fuck around and make games for fun, and later, for profit. Like a true goddamn...

Orlando

I'm a software developer by day, and writer by night. I also write code at night, and occasionally words by day. Really, the main takeaway is I enjoy typing on a keyboard a lot.

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